Everybody deserves an awesome birth experience, even *gasp* C-section moms
11 Oct 2011 7 Comments
in Birth Tags: Birth, Breastfeeding, c-section, Cesarean, hospital, medicated birth, OB, respect, VBAC
So in my blog travels, I ran across this video called The Natural Caesarean:a woman centred technique (no, I didn’t spell that wrong-video is from the other side of the pond, aka, UK). And though a bit legthy, I’ll give you 11 minutes and 59 seconds to watch before continuing… *elevator music*
Did you watch it yet? No? Yes?
Ok, now that you’ve watched it, what was your reaction? Be honest.
I’ve trolled through a bunch of comments on this video and I have my own reactions, mostly in the good category actually. But before going to my personal reactions, I have a few thoughts… I sometimes wonder what c-sectioned moms think about the plethora of natural birth stuff that I post links to. I wonder if they think that I’m not supportive of them or even look down on them. As if there is some sort of birth hierarchy where natural, unmediated birth is the pinnacle of existence and sectioners are the lowly pawns down at the bottom. That couldn’t be farther from the truth! (do you ever look at a phrase and wonder what that even means, just did now making sure I was using it correctly…lol)
Sometimes we look at birth as if it is Plan A, Plan B, Plan C when in reality, the birth you end up with was the plan for you all along, the ONLY plan for you. Now, of course, I need to qualify that with sometimes things don’t go as they COULD have gone. That is an entirely different subject altogether. One which I’m not going to address now. I think for the most part, women want to look back and think that it played out the way it was supposed to play out. We all want our birth experiences to be positive or at least remember positive moments.
Now… My gut reaction to the video was “wow, finally a medical staff that gets it.” I think that c-section looked more memorable than some vaginal births that I’ve seen/heard of. They made that moment special for that family and isn’t that what it’s all about? Shouldn’t we all be treated with that level of respect and specialness? They get that immediate skin to skin is soooo very important for moms and their babies. The mom actually had some level of control; she wasn’t tied down to the operating table. She could feel free to cuddle, coo, count toes and nurse her baby immediately if she wanted. In most hospitals the baby is taken away to be measured, weighed, look over, etc, then cleaned up and swaddled and usually mom just gets to give the baby a little kiss before it’s taken to the nursery for observation (this is true for c-sections and very many vaginal births). I think that this should be offered to families in every hospital. No, let me rephrase that… I think that hospitals should be treating every family how that family was treated, with respect for the tiny life that is making it’s way into the world whether it be a normal, medicated or c-section birth. This is a sacred event. Literally once in a lifetime. 
No family wants to be treated as if they are just another notch in the belt of how many babies this practitioner has delivered. It’s like your wedding day; it’s just that special. Maybe even more special! No one would dare go to a reception hall or have a caterer that treated them poorly and without respect. Why do we expect this with birth?
I do have some downsides though. I think the title “natural c-section” is misleading. The surgery is pretty much exactly the same. That hasn’t changed. I think they could be more creative with the title. How about “family focused C-section” or “Gentle C-section” but calling it natural is misleading to women because it is only SIMULATING what a natural birth would be like. There’s nothing natural about it. I also would worry that it would dissuade many would be VBAC moms from attempting a vaginal birth. Why go the route of an actual vaginal birth when I can have one simulated? Well, there are many many many reasons why it’s a good idea to go after the VBAC. And better women than me have posted many times about these, so do your own research and make your own decisions!
I think EVERY mom deserves an awesome birth experience
! I hope you go after yours!
Oct 11, 2011 @ 21:49:01
I hope this becomes a standard. I had a c-section (Liv was footling breech) and not only was I devastated by not getting my “experience” AND I had trouble breastfeeding but immediately felt “not part of the natural birth club.” I felt like I was immediately excluded and wasn’t even sure I could say “I gave birth.” I am all for natural birth, but every posting about how wonderful natural birth is or how anesthesia was so terrible for your baby felt like a jab at me. That being said, women don’t have births, they have children. Now, over 2 years later, I feel that birth is a fairly insignificant part of mothering. I do think it strongly affected the ease of breastfeeding but since I had control over that, i worked hard to make it happen and successfully breastfed for a year despite a rough start, working full time, pumping extra to make enough. I am very proud of that! I do hope to try it naturally next time, but I am much better prepared emotionally if it doesn’t work out.
Oct 11, 2011 @ 22:09:16
Emily-I think your experience with the “birth clubs” is typical in the birth world and also unfortunate. I felt similarly about Lillie’s (although not a c-section), I wanted to go natural and ended up with an epidural. I was pretty miffed about ending up in the “medicated club” lol… Kuddos to you for making Bf’ing work for your family! And I hope you get your wish!
Oct 12, 2011 @ 06:26:40
Emily- I had a c-section after a 27hour failed induction. I felt defeated and like my body just wasn’t capable. The birth stories I read and the research I did about inductions, VBAC, pitocin, etc before conceiving again gave me confidence in my power as a woman. I had my VBAC 5 months ago and it was amazing. It wasn’t all natural. I opted for the epidural at 7cm. Anesthesia has it’s pros and cons and the later you wait to get it, the better chances of vaginal birth you have. I don’t believe anyone really wants to make a jab at you, me, or any other c-section mama by writing about their beliefs of childbirth backed by much research and facts. If you read things as they are and not try to take it personally, you can learn how to make your next birth better. Even if it is opting for another c-section. Ask your OB if he will do a family centered c-section and have a birth plan for it. It would be amazing if the above video was made standard for all c/s (other than in extreme emergencies.) If you want to VBAC be inspired by other VBAC stories and empowered with knowledge. Birth IS a significant part of becoming a mother, though we can learn mother without doing it naturally. Oxytocin that is released when the baby is born is important for bonding with baby and it aids in breastfeeding. I also had great difficulty with breastfeeding after my c-section. I give you props for being determined to breastfeed even though it was tough. Not many people do, and I think you are awesome for that!!!
Oct 12, 2011 @ 10:29:21
Here is an article I think might help http://theleakyboob.com/2011/09/tone-filters-and-information/ I think it is a natural reaction to feel “jabbed” at. One which isn’t limited to birth. Think of the friend raving about her husband’s bonus or salary increase meanwhile your hubby is stuck at the same salary for years (not yours in particular, just an example, lol). Or the friend raving about their Disney vacation while you are limited to camping.
Oct 12, 2011 @ 20:54:23
Kinsey – Thanks, good article. Of course, I know that no one was really jabbing at me, it just feels that way – made me want to scream “I had no choice!” I was actually one of the lucky ones. My c-section was scheduled, even the midwife said it had to be done. I went into labor a few days before and had a very easy, quick, uneventful c-section, just 3hours in the hospital before she was born. I didn’t see her for another three hours but had a supportive friend there who had had a similar experience (I had no idea how much i needed her to be there until later – thanks Jenni!) It was a crazy, emotional few days that followed with breastfeeding, jaundis, etc.
Robin – Thanks. I was pretty well versed in all the pitfalls, etc and had a birth plan (which i later ran across and laughed out loud at) but didn’t know what to expect at all for a c-section. In fact, I skipped over that section in the books i read because I wasn’t going to have one – that was a bit naive.
Birth IS significant, but it has nothing to do with how good or bad you are as a mother.
Oct 13, 2011 @ 12:29:26
I had never heard of this concept before this morning. Seven months ago I had an emergency C-Section, after I ruptured at 33 weeks from complete central previa. I still barely feel like I gave birth, and as another commenter stated, in the grand scheme of mothering it becomes less important over time. I remember people would say, “oh you had your baby!” and I would say things like “yeah, that’s what they tell me!” or “they say she’s mine, so I guess she is” (she was the spitting image of her father). But the disconnection, the distance, and the breastfeeding–oh lawd, the breastfeeding!– was something we fought to overcome. We did.
I understand there is no way this would have been an option for me at the time given they were more worried I’d die on the table, but next time? Next time, if I have no complications, I will find a doctor and a hospital willing to do it this way. I highly doubt my current doctor or hospital would do so.
Oct 13, 2011 @ 15:25:25
SO sorry you had such a rough first birth! I can totally see why you would feel disconnected, but so glad you overcame the difficulties. Makes us stronger, no?
I hope you get your wish for a healthy pregnancy and healthy birth!
I love hearing everyone’s stories! I always have a special ache though for c-section moms that had a difficult birth.